Hurt

I think if I talk to anyone now about the shit I am going through at work, I think I will be crying uncontrollably because everything hurts.

Let it go

Sometimes it will be easier to just let it all go.

To let them do whatever they want to do.

Allow them to take your hard work

grant them the opportunity to step over you

Sometimes it will be better to just to all that

But then you sit down and think

about the years you spent

about the time you slogged

about the sweat and blood you dripped

about the sacrifices your family and friends made for you

you think it is only easy to say let it all go

never easy to do, never sits right on your conscience

because it is your work it is what you did

and why should let anyone else meddle with your shit

when its yours and those who worked hard on it

and you fight, you cry, you shed a million tears

and then you get tired

and finally decide you have had enough

you have had enough

you had done enough

and it is time to let go 

and time to leave

Words that aren't coming out

Quanter of a year
That's how long since I've been gone
away from this place
in between many a times
I stopped by
looked at the white sheet
stared hard and yet
words just didn't come out
up to now it still doesn't come out
words.. seems like i've forgotten how to emote
like i've locked my feelings
bottled them up tightly
that even words don't come out anymore

and still it hurts, especially here in the heart
with too much to hold
and too little to be shared
and too exhausting
too far gone....

Hurting You

Enough enough
I can't take it anymore
I can't bear it any longer
Would you leave, please
I begged I pleaded
Just leave, I don't want this
I don't want to do this anymore
I don't want to keep hurting you
I don't want to keep hurting me
I don't want to keep hurting us
I will never be in peace
nor will you be happy with me
I just have this tendency
to keep hurting the ones i love
I just have this urge
to hurt before I get hurt
I just have this little madness
to keep thinking that happiness is unattainable
I just have to tear a part of my heart
to send it to you
along with you
when you leave
if you leave
if you 
if

But you sit there like a mule
Mouth zipped up
Eyes stoic and cold
forehead creased up
waiting for me to calm down
why wait? just go
this has happened way too many times
i've snapped at you 
for so many times
that i've lost count
so why do you still insist on being here
so why do you insist we can work this out
so why do you insist that love's more than enough
so why do you insist you still love me
and love me more than ever
after all i've put you through
I don't think i'll ever be ready
I don't think I'll ever work up enough
courage, self-confidence, self esteem
to stand by you, 
to face you as an equal
to understand that I'm not a broken
a broken doll, a messed up freak
a fat mapped up creature
to ever realize that you probably just
love me as I am

So, could you leave before I hurt us more?