Hurt

I think if I talk to anyone now about the shit I am going through at work, I think I will be crying uncontrollably because everything hurts.

Food and knowledge

My parents taught me some very important things in life, one of them being 

"Don't be selfish with your food and knowledge"

Share your food and always prioritize other people's hunger than your own, giving them whatever/ however little you have with you. I try to do that, I try my best, but sometimes when I see some people, especially the ones who come and eats and doesn't give a damn about whether others have eaten, I really really feel like I want to hide my food away. Store it away, hide it away, don't let them see because they are really greedy with no conscience at all. But then my mother is very smart and she knows her daughter very well, and she knows who these people are, and she will scold me before I have even done anything. She says its okay, don't become like them and stoop to their level, its okay its okay, karma will bite them in their ass. So I am still okay with sharing/giving my food away.

Now, knowledge is other hand a very different thing. From young I have been taught to share my knowledge. Attending my primary school however taught me that not everyone is as generous with their knowledge, There are some sneaky assholes that go around "acquiring" knowledge from everybody else but when they are asked for some "knowledge" in return or otherwise, they will say "I don't know" or "I am not smart" or "I also don't understand". Then during the exams they go and score a million marks, with their smug little smirks. These people pisses me off and I have learnt to share my knowledge with those who do not fall into that criteria. There is also another category of people that pisses me off, those who do not make any effort to learn at all. Always expecting some spoon-feeding, to give them all the answers to the universe. Unfortunately, I can't stand people like that either.

I fail in following my parents teachings, and I can justify this as my survival in this fucked up world!!

Let it go

Sometimes it will be easier to just let it all go.

To let them do whatever they want to do.

Allow them to take your hard work

grant them the opportunity to step over you

Sometimes it will be better to just to all that

But then you sit down and think

about the years you spent

about the time you slogged

about the sweat and blood you dripped

about the sacrifices your family and friends made for you

you think it is only easy to say let it all go

never easy to do, never sits right on your conscience

because it is your work it is what you did

and why should let anyone else meddle with your shit

when its yours and those who worked hard on it

and you fight, you cry, you shed a million tears

and then you get tired

and finally decide you have had enough

you have had enough

you had done enough

and it is time to let go 

and time to leave