My dear friend,

How do I maintain a good friendship?
It seems like I am failing to do so?
How can I miss my friends so much, yet I do not know how to reach out anymore?
I don't know whether it's a mutual missing?
or have I been forgotten?
Perhaps I am afraid to reach out?
Afraid that I am not welcome anymore?
Or I am afraid I'll be brushed over with simple answers like "yeah I am fine"?
I feel like writing my life story to you, yet I don't wanna bore you down?
I don't wanna feel like a fool?
I don't wanna know that you have moved on, or that I am just a part of your past?
Do tell me, pray tell me, I know I fail in communication
I know I don't do well in responding in proper time
and when I do respond, it seems like it's too late
the gap and the divide has just grown larger

But my dear friend,
I do miss you, and you are in my thoughts constantly
And I am sorry if I let you down
or if I didn't respond
Please don't take to heart
Please find some place to forgive me
Please know that I am always here for you
(if you do a friend, in joy and in pain)

Love,
Me

Negativity and me

I have this whole bunch of negativity stirring in me, bubbling, boiling,

and since its in me, it is suppressed, occasionally rearing its ugly fugly head,

taking down those closest to me, hurting those i love the most

these negative charges- sadness, grief, hurt, inferiority, lack of confidence, loneliness,

need to go, need to leave, need an outlet, need to be let, in a single stream, slow and steadily

I need to let go of every fucking thing that is bringing me down, that is hurting me,

I need to let go of the steam, before I begin my journey away from home

I need to gain some positivity, some hope, some desire of living, some life

I need to live again and belief again, need to love and let go again,

I need so many things, to do so many things, its overwhelming,

but I need to do so

in the hope that I'd never succumb to all this negativity that I have and live the reset of my life

as a walking zombie.