很烦啊。

Can't you try to understand? Yes, maybe it's my fault, maybe I am not working hard enuf but I am trying my best. Why do you make me feel this way? Why? We are all in this together, just as long as we are together, all of us together, isn't that enough? Yes, money is tight. We cannot do the best in this situation, but we have a roof to live under, electric and water to use. We cannot eat the best of food but we still have food. Most importantly, we have each other, we are living together, we are going through this together, why would you want to make a situation already desperate even worse? Please try to understand, I know how important money is. I know we have to pay for this and that and medicine and chemo and bags and what not. I believe we will manage. We WILL manage, don't worry I will settle all our debts before I leave this world. Please just try to understand that I know how GRIM the situation is, but I am just trying to be THANKFUL for what we have and HAPPY that everyone is still living and together.

I pray and pray, sometimes I want to ignore my prayers but I know how much GRACE God has given us, how much He has helped us, how much more HE Will help us. It is just another passing stage, a stage where lessons and karma are to be paid back. We will pay back and not succumb into failure. We have to come out stronger ever than before.