Annoyed

How easily i get annoyed

annoyed because of little things

irritated because of certain actions

then getting all depressed

because i get annoyed and irritated

at meaningless things

and most importantly at people who mean the world to me

and especially when i conscious that I am hurting them

and what's the point is feeling regret

when all has been said and done

when regret don't mean a thing

when this keeps happening again and again

this side of me that never seems to change

as much as i feel like i need to change

i still get bloody annoyed and irritated

Envy?

sometimes i bloody hate why the hell I am still here

but just sometimes

when everyone seems to be somewhere

having a family

having a stable job

having fun studying in place I wanna be

having lots of fun in life

with many hobbies

and I am all stuck here.

Not that i don't like what I am doing

I take everything I do with the same fervor I take in life

serious and yet i try my best to make as fun as possible

perhaps I am just envious of people

Looking at others, seeing their achievements, and their enjoyment

makes me feel like I haven't been doing the best in my life

Envy: one of the greatest sin

Envy brings unhappiness right?

I shouldn't be envious of others and of what they have

because I have done enough ~trying my best to console myself that I've tried my best~

because I have a family, a roof over my head and food on my table

I am thankful, and for that i am glad

yet sometimes, i feel so envious of others

just because I feel I deserve better ~i am a SNOB for saying this, right?~

because I feel i haven't given my best ~i am trying though..~

I hate the me today

I wonder what did I do to myself and my dreams

why I am here?

~Fret not~ consoling myself ~one day, your day will come when you can soar high and achieve whatever you want to achieve, just hold on, keep holding on~

Leave

Go on

make a move

show me what you've got

prove that you are you

if not, just leave

don't waste my time

don't waste your breathe

go on

move on

find someone else

someone who is good enough for you

go on

show or leave

trust and me

how do i state this

how do i tell you all these

how do i open my heart to you

and let you in

when i am so insecure

when i am full of mistrust

when i am one who trust no one

so pray tell me how do i let you in

will you work your way in

will you never stray too far from me

will you slowly earn my trust

or you will just leave me

cause i am too big of a burden

too quiet for your liking

too sudden with my gestures

and you have given up on me

Don't come any closer

Don't come any closer

your smell invades

permeates my cells

every single one of them

Don't come any closer

your touch hurts

leaving unseen marks

invisible yet always there

Don't come any close

your hold transfixes

holds me still

send my heart into a running mess

Don't come any closer

your whispers confuses

brain goes haywire

half tuned half gone

Don't come any closer

Any closer

I'll burn, be burned

combust and turn to ash

Don't come any closer

any closer

i'll turn around and run

cause all i really wanna do is crush into you