Private Area

All I see is DARKNESS.
All I feel is COLD.
All I hear is CRITICISM
All I want is PEACE
and a SMILE on your FACE

Friday, January 22, 2016

Working in science? The complication piece

The complications in science. 

When I was a bachelor's student, it was much easier. I just had to read and pass my exams. Then I got to my final year, I had a dissertation to do which involved research and stuff. At that point of my life, the only complications that I faced include shortage of reagents. materials, unfriendly.unhelpful seniors aka postgraduate students, making the experiments work, trying to figure out what I am meant to write, boss being a little bias. But that was it.

Then I moved on to work in research, started out a research assistant, with the thought that I had found the field I love. Its true, I did find something I love, still love and am still doing. But I had to grow up. 

Here, when I was working in this particular lab, when you are a research assistant or a postgraduate, you are just "hands and legs". I am really re-quoting the second in command (current boss), that's what he said to our face. You guys just do the work, no need to think. That may sound like an easy job. But we are in the field not to just to the work. The way he said it, it sounded like we did not have the capability to think, and we were stupid. Condescending, that's what I would describe those words. People working in that lab, even for many years rarely published, because it was all hoarded by the superiors. Mostly, we didn't think much of it, because those days, I was still naive, still believed in the good of people. We were also "brainwashed" to think that we aren't capable certain levels, and were made full use of. But its okay, because I had fun, I liked the job, I had good colleagues.

Then, I moved back home, to another lab. I had to start below. That is to be expected, because hierarchic is very important in my country. You pay respect to your seniors, and everyone else you were there earlier then you. In this lab, I had lots of good things happen. I got my PhD, I got to overseas for training, for conferences, for meetings, for holidays. I also found my best friends. But, all this came with a price and more complications. We were expected to work 24/7. You get phone calls at night or on weekends for work matter etc. We were "not allowed" to discuss with our boss. We had a dictator, lab meetings were subordinates reporting to the boss, not a discussion between colleagues and supervisor on how to improve/troubleshoot. We seldom got praises, it was often yellings, shoutings and fear. That's how most of the students and postdocs were, they were living in fear. Now, fear brings further complications. The boss wants results, and she doesn't seem to care how the results were obtained. Therefore, I have seen some manipulations, outright lies, plagiarism. Yet, I can't voice it out, because that's how the shit worked in that lab. Arguing, and pointing out people who shit like that only got me in the black books of my boss. The politics, internal, external, were chaos, were frightening. Like when you speak to someone from another lab, people become suspicious, are you selling out information etc.. hahaha.. it was crap. Then came the matter of publications, if you have seen some of my rantings in this blog, you would know that is whole matter on itself. No doubt, we are given credit for what we do, but the author list and order may sometimes become unbearable. 

Basically, science itself is complicated - to find answer for questions leads only to more questions. But to work in science is altogether another complication - the politics, the hierarchic, the publications, the public relations. And to top all of that, is the meager salary we are paid to work 24/7, because no matter what you say, and how you can plan your work, if you are a scientist, you would have had the "pleasure" of staying back or coming in super early to make sure that time course experiment is going as planned. Not to mention, if you have to fight for the use of the hoods and thermal cyclers. 

if you read this, and if you are a scientist, you agree? 

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