Private Area

All I see is DARKNESS.
All I feel is COLD.
All I hear is CRITICISM
All I want is PEACE
and a SMILE on your FACE

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Travelling

Hi
It's been awhile since I have posted anything serious here

Once upon a time, I used to write every single/ every other day, but nowadays I am too lazy to write. I may have lots of things happening, yet I feel extremely lazy to write. But most of the times, I have nothing going on. Looks like my life is an endless cycle of the same thing. Wake up- Eat- Work- Eat -Sleep. The cycle keeps repeating again and again.

I remember when I came back here, I complained that people taking the public transport are all sour faced and not friendly. Amazingly, I have turned into one of them. And I totally get why they all look like that. When I took the train, you'd have to be early (like 6am in the morning) to be able to sit through your journey, anything after 7am until 9am means you will be squeezing in a pack sardine tin (I mean, even sardine tins these days come with less fish and lots of sauce), with all sorts of smell, and behavior. And all these if the train is punctual, and no delays occurred, if not you can expect multiple times worst scenarios, like waiting for the (never coming) next train that you don't need to be pushed in with no breathing space at all! The same things happens after work hours as wells. All these translated into me going to work really early (7am), and since i didn't have the privilege of leaving early, so leaving the workplace late (8/9pm). I spend every single day and daylight hours at my workplace. On top of all that, i spend at least RM8.00 a day on travelling alone.

Then, I found a cheaper of travelling which is by bus where I could get a student pass costing RM50/month. I was happy, at least I could save some money, so I can eat more. But of course, a cheaper means mean something else would have to be sacrificed. When i used the train ride, it takes about 25minutes and another 30minutes of bus ride which means a total of 1 hour journey (well, if nothing goes wrong like a train delay, and missing of bus). Unfortunately, the cheaper bus ride all the way to University takes 2 hours (minimum) per way and that most of the time excludes the waiting time, as well as the high possibility of getting stuck in a traffic jam.

The best example would be yesterday, when I woke up at 6am, thinking of taking the 7am ladies bus to work. When i reached the bus stop at 7am, there were so many people waiting for bus, an indication that the previous bus did not come. When the bus came at 7.05am, it was not the ladies bus, and this bus was already packed like sardine, and I did not fancy standing 1hour to town. So I thought perhaps the ladies bus will come in awhile and decided not to board the sardine bus. There I am waiting and waiting, and at 7.40am, comes another sardine bus, without a choice I boarded the bus, and stood, anticipating a long winding journey. My luck seemed to have been bad yesterday, as the traffic was seriously bad, so i had to endure standing in a crowded bus for 2 hours before i finally reached town at 9.45am. From there i have to take another bus which could directly take me to the university, but looks like I missed the bus due to the fucking traffic and i didn't know when the next bus would come, so I took another which could take me to the where more buses heading towards the university will be at. Then from there, I took a third bus (which i had to pay for) to finally reach workplace at 10.40am. And considering my bad luck, the first person i meet after climbing the bloody stairs was my boss who frowned at the panting and heaving me, and jokingly said that i'd better go home at 10pm only..

And if you still can't understand the feelings of Malaysian public transport users, come live with me, and I'd bet you would last long either...


Monday, January 9, 2012

Memory lane

Travelling down memory lane
I remember you
and i remember your kisses
and your hugs and your love

Where would I find those again
and will ever find one that compares
to what you have showered me
to what you have left within me

Travelling down this road again
but this time all alone
makes everything seems like a dream
and no proof except for those memories

I hope it was not my imagination
what had happened was true
cause that was the best time of my live
Cause I was loved

Sunday, January 8, 2012

New year

It's the new year
but the same old life
this would be my first post of the year
will try to not make it as depressing as it usually is

yeah
okay
i have really nothing much to say
my brain seems to be on a break
i am not thinking much these days
and maybe not thinking much is good
cause i am not as depressed or moody as i usually am

right
again
yeah
okay
happy new year people!!!

Friday, December 23, 2011

Self-reflection

It's very depressing that in all the "dramas" that have happened in my life, I am always considered as the bad one, the one triggering all the bloody drama.
People always say if one person says that, then it could be a misunderstanding, but if many people says the same thing, perhaps its time to reflect on oneself.
Maybe its time I reflect on myself, to see gravely whether it IS me that is wrong in all the situation.
Mostly it's because I can't control my emotions, my face reflects whatever i feel, I may not talk, may not say, but my face shows, shows how much i dislike whatever is happening.
That's because i don have a poker face, i don know how to pretend, how to lick others' ass, cock and shoes and whatever else they want me to lick, i don know how to not be angry when someone else is in the wrong and yet others get blamed, i don know how to close my eyes to all the injustice in the world (for example, getting recognition that you don deserve, and not doing anything to rectify it or even point to those who actually contributed), i don understand how people can be so two-faced, talking nicely in front of others and talking badly behind their backs, and yes, i can't do that, if i don't like you, i don't like you, and my face will show you that, if i don respect you, my face will show you exactly that!
Maybe its time i do reflect, and not be all that, or maybe i could just continue be me, let everyone else fuck off!!!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Fight

But it was never intention
nor was it pre-mediated
I liked you and you liked me
So what's the big deal
You wanna pick a fight
Pick your weapon and I'll not shy
I'll stand by me
and I'll stand all alone
even if the world was against me
and standing by yourside
I'll not cower and fly
cause I know this time
I'm right and you're a poor sight
so I'll shall not cry
or wail
or be sorry for my plight
Come, be strong and face me
I'll be waiting