Angry

I am so tired.. really so tired
I am mentally exhausted, physically exhausted..
I can't do this anymore..
You have no right to do this to me
No right at all
I have done all work, everything i should do
everything little thing, down to the most menial matter
yet in the end you fucking do this to me
FUCK you.. really fuck you
You have no rights to toy me around
to blackmail me, to play around like this
to hold my life in your fucking hands
FUCK you and your shit
FUCK you and your bloody moodswings
FUCK you again again and again
FUCK you until you die
You can't go around changing your mind every 2 seconds
You can't play with peoples' hard work
You can't play with my work.
I've been a good, I've listened to you
But you don't get to toy me around
You wanna play rough, I'll give you rough
you FUCKer!!!

Words that aren't coming out

Quanter of a year
That's how long since I've been gone
away from this place
in between many a times
I stopped by
looked at the white sheet
stared hard and yet
words just didn't come out
up to now it still doesn't come out
words.. seems like i've forgotten how to emote
like i've locked my feelings
bottled them up tightly
that even words don't come out anymore

and still it hurts, especially here in the heart
with too much to hold
and too little to be shared
and too exhausting
too far gone....

Work work work

Where did I go?
Went MIA for awhile didn't I?
Anyway it doesn't matter, does it?
Its not like someone reads this shit anyway...

Too much work is killing my creativity ~if i had some~
Too much work is stifling my imagination ~ if I had a little~
Too much work is bringing my morale down ~ this i had a lot~
Too much work is just too much work

Work is neverending
I have to know when to do what needs to be done
But sometimes I get ungodly deadlines,
that I know I will never be able to stick up to

So why do i subject myself to this
overworking and overkilling my brains
So why do i still work and work
and write and write and write

well, obligations and responsibility calls
i need to answer that call
i need to finish this so I can answer that call'
i need to graduate next year!!!

Not this again

Oh god, there it comes again

Seems like I am doomed with these issues

Seriously, can't you guys work it out amongst yourselves?

I don't wanna get invloved

I am tired of this problem

I am tired of being the middleman

I am tired of being the puppet

Frankly, I don't care if I am not first author and shit

But I don't want to be in-between

I've had enough for the first

I and him may done the shit

you may have tutored us

and you may have supervised us

but you didn't do no shit

and if I have to sit down and write it by myself

and frankly I think you guys don't deserve first not last

maybe i'll be first

and he'll be last

and you guys can stick it in the middle

Hohoho and how i wish i can say all this in front your faces!!!!

Frustrated me

Frustrated (PMSing) me

Baby, look at me
open your eyes please..
Come one, open your eyes
Oi!!! Are you gonna look at me now??

Refusing outright
All I did was to burrow deeper
Deeper in to safety haven, under the pillows
Waiting till you get tired and leave

Being stubborn ain't gonna send me away
Can't we talk about it? Just talk..
Don't be unreasonable...
At least look at me

I don't want to listen 
Not in this state.. Not when I am angry
Not when I might snap.. Not when I may hurt you
again...

Listen, I'm sorry
Will you forgive me?
I'll do anything to make it up to you
Please, baby, don't be mad

I snap, throwing the covers away
Why the fuck are you apologizing for?
You didn't do anything wrong.
Why are you saying sorry

What? Why are you like this?
You don't talk to me, you don't let me say anything
You don't let me in, I don't understand wha..
No baby, don't cry, don't cry..

I was pulled into a hug
angry frustrated tears rolling down
Don't say sorry, don't, just don't..
I hate you... I hate myself even more

Hush hush baby... cry them all out
Cry what ever's bothering you out
I'm sorry i forced you to talk,
Don't say anything but let me be here with you

Sobbing uncontrollably
i'm sorry i'm sorry..sorry.. 
there i stayed in your arms
until there were no more tears

Tired

I am so tired

So so tired

I'm insomniac

I can't sleep

Or it's more like

i can't sleep well at all

the moment I sleep

i'm brought to dreamland

where everything is just as bleak

and dark as reality

or maybe even darker than here

so i try not to sleep

i am sleep deprived

body needs its sleep

my mind needs it even more

but the Dreams keep coming back

for more and more

I wanna sleep

i really really do