Useless

I feel like the most useless person in the world
Seems like I can't get anything right..
No matter how hard I try..
No matter how much I give
No matter how much I do
it doesn't matter because I am probably the most useless piece of shit in this world
it doesn't matter at all
because even when i cry
no one cares
even if i don cry
no one cares
well, my mum cares, but why should I bother her with all this shit
and make her all worried and upset
because its okay I am upset all by myself
because its my shit that fucked up anyway
because i can't get a thing done
can't get a thing right
can't make them happy
can't think like them
can't do a shit like
can't do anything
basically i am crap or may be not even that
even shit is useful as fertilizer
So yeah, so yep, so yes
that's me, that's who I am
the useless daughter
the useless sister
the useless and stupid student
the useless and emotional friend
the useless and dumb researcher
the useless citizen
the stupid useless me
so thanks for reading this piece
and thanks for not responding
its okay i can understand
who'd want to respond to a useless me

Words that aren't coming out

Quanter of a year
That's how long since I've been gone
away from this place
in between many a times
I stopped by
looked at the white sheet
stared hard and yet
words just didn't come out
up to now it still doesn't come out
words.. seems like i've forgotten how to emote
like i've locked my feelings
bottled them up tightly
that even words don't come out anymore

and still it hurts, especially here in the heart
with too much to hold
and too little to be shared
and too exhausting
too far gone....

Frustrated me

Frustrated (PMSing) me

Baby, look at me
open your eyes please..
Come one, open your eyes
Oi!!! Are you gonna look at me now??

Refusing outright
All I did was to burrow deeper
Deeper in to safety haven, under the pillows
Waiting till you get tired and leave

Being stubborn ain't gonna send me away
Can't we talk about it? Just talk..
Don't be unreasonable...
At least look at me

I don't want to listen 
Not in this state.. Not when I am angry
Not when I might snap.. Not when I may hurt you
again...

Listen, I'm sorry
Will you forgive me?
I'll do anything to make it up to you
Please, baby, don't be mad

I snap, throwing the covers away
Why the fuck are you apologizing for?
You didn't do anything wrong.
Why are you saying sorry

What? Why are you like this?
You don't talk to me, you don't let me say anything
You don't let me in, I don't understand wha..
No baby, don't cry, don't cry..

I was pulled into a hug
angry frustrated tears rolling down
Don't say sorry, don't, just don't..
I hate you... I hate myself even more

Hush hush baby... cry them all out
Cry what ever's bothering you out
I'm sorry i forced you to talk,
Don't say anything but let me be here with you

Sobbing uncontrollably
i'm sorry i'm sorry..sorry.. 
there i stayed in your arms
until there were no more tears