Words that aren't coming out

Quanter of a year
That's how long since I've been gone
away from this place
in between many a times
I stopped by
looked at the white sheet
stared hard and yet
words just didn't come out
up to now it still doesn't come out
words.. seems like i've forgotten how to emote
like i've locked my feelings
bottled them up tightly
that even words don't come out anymore

and still it hurts, especially here in the heart
with too much to hold
and too little to be shared
and too exhausting
too far gone....

Delusional me

do you think i'm delusional?

i appear giddy and giggly

but don't ever think i am delusional

i know where i stand

i know where is my place

i've been reminded of my place

constantly

that i've got it all in my head

i know how i look

just average looking face

with a below average looking body

i know exactly how i look in your eyes

i know how is it

because i wouldn't look at myself if i were you

i try not to get my hopes up

when with friends

all your looks (if they were intended for me)

are for them

that's what i constantly remind myself

to not get my hopes up

but all the same i pretend to be giddy and giggly

as if they were meant for me

and when i am alone

why do you still look

take your eyes away

there's only me there

so why are you still looking

so why are you still staring

i am not gonna make myself delusional

and think that you have "it" for me

but all the same i pretend

to appear giddy and giggly

and remind myself

i'm in no one's league

in no one's league.