Food and knowledge

My parents taught me some very important things in life, one of them being 

"Don't be selfish with your food and knowledge"

Share your food and always prioritize other people's hunger than your own, giving them whatever/ however little you have with you. I try to do that, I try my best, but sometimes when I see some people, especially the ones who come and eats and doesn't give a damn about whether others have eaten, I really really feel like I want to hide my food away. Store it away, hide it away, don't let them see because they are really greedy with no conscience at all. But then my mother is very smart and she knows her daughter very well, and she knows who these people are, and she will scold me before I have even done anything. She says its okay, don't become like them and stoop to their level, its okay its okay, karma will bite them in their ass. So I am still okay with sharing/giving my food away.

Now, knowledge is other hand a very different thing. From young I have been taught to share my knowledge. Attending my primary school however taught me that not everyone is as generous with their knowledge, There are some sneaky assholes that go around "acquiring" knowledge from everybody else but when they are asked for some "knowledge" in return or otherwise, they will say "I don't know" or "I am not smart" or "I also don't understand". Then during the exams they go and score a million marks, with their smug little smirks. These people pisses me off and I have learnt to share my knowledge with those who do not fall into that criteria. There is also another category of people that pisses me off, those who do not make any effort to learn at all. Always expecting some spoon-feeding, to give them all the answers to the universe. Unfortunately, I can't stand people like that either.

I fail in following my parents teachings, and I can justify this as my survival in this fucked up world!!

Let it go

Sometimes it will be easier to just let it all go.

To let them do whatever they want to do.

Allow them to take your hard work

grant them the opportunity to step over you

Sometimes it will be better to just to all that

But then you sit down and think

about the years you spent

about the time you slogged

about the sweat and blood you dripped

about the sacrifices your family and friends made for you

you think it is only easy to say let it all go

never easy to do, never sits right on your conscience

because it is your work it is what you did

and why should let anyone else meddle with your shit

when its yours and those who worked hard on it

and you fight, you cry, you shed a million tears

and then you get tired

and finally decide you have had enough

you have had enough

you had done enough

and it is time to let go 

and time to leave

Thawing heart

You shift closer
The bed doesn't move even a little
but I know you are moving in closer
I can feel it by your breathe
You stop and you breathe in deep
You are hesitant, you are not sure
not sure whether your touch is welcomed
You still don't move
I can feel your bodily warmth
radiating, like your sunny happy personality
warming me up, gentle like the sunshine
yet you don't come any closer
yet you are afraid to touch the cold
to breach the ice that formed
the ice that I am
Have you not seen, how you are melting the ice?
How you have change the heart?
how you have thawed the un"thaw"able?
I reach behind
I grab your hesitant hand
placing it on my heart
instantly you are stuck on me
instantly we become one
I can feel your relief
your smile
your love
you whisper in my ears
words that you have told me a thousand times
words that you swear you will tell me another thousand years
words that I strive to believe in
words that I long to say back
maybe one day
maybe the day is near

ANGST

You hold my hand
you intertwine your fingers with mine
you squeeze them lightly
and then with more pressure

but i don 't reciprocate
i don't know how to
maybe i just i don't want to
or its just that i can't do it

i stare ahead
stare at the nothingness
blanking my mind
blocking your voice

and you halt suddenly
perhaps you have become aware
of the lack of response
of the lack of anything

you sigh
but you don't anything no more
the silence is deafening
the awkwardness seeps in

i let go
or i try to let your hands go
its futile
with the grip you have now

you pull me to you
i crash against you
your arm go around me
crushing me with a bear hug

you still don't say anything
but i feel wetness on my hair
now have i made you cry
now that's why i need to go

i want to say something
i want to say anything
anything to stop your tears
without realizing your shirt is also getting wet

the world today

Violence..
everywhere
robbery, snatch thefts, raping, murder, war..
the world is seeing its doom
whats more pathetic and scary
is that
no one helps, no one offers help,
no one tries to help
passerby just look, no offer of help
just looking
how pathetic have we become
how low have we sunken to
how much lower can we go
until we no longer emote
no longer are humans