Dawn

Approaching dawn

in the haze of sleep
felt your fingers in my navel
they circle the sensitive bellybutton
i can't help but shiver
the tremors you no doubt felt
made you braver
a kiss to my nape
a lick at my earlobes
i smiled, and shut my eyes tigher
refusing to wake
hands now my hips
never ceasing their movement
i couldn't help but
feel so comfortable
and soon i am back to sleep

Sleep..

Your beautiful face 

deep in sleep as you are

your arms wraps me close

your breath tickles the nape of neck

your heat warms me up

i wiggle and jiggle slowly

trying to glimpse at you

fingers tracing the contour of your face

lingering on those lips

you whine a little

moving your face away

away from my inquisitive fingers

but never letting me go

i keep watching you sleep

pondering how did i end up here

in your arms and your mercy

until i fell asleep snuggled into your chest 

Send me a sign, baby!

Are you happy there?
Wherever you are?
Whatever you are doing?
Because that's all I want to know
Because that's all I need to know
Because it's been years
And I have to let you go
And let someone new in
Although you'd probably always remain
somewhere deep, in a tiny corner
my steadily beating heart
So, if you ever see this,
Do send me a sign, 
A sign of your happiness
So my heart can rest in peace

To a friend (who'll never read this)

Someone once told me I am the type who'd do anything for the one I love.
This was said after observing me for so many years.
I don't know how much you had observed in those years.
Did you see through me? Did you see what had happened?
Did you understand, it was not because I didn't trust you enough to let you in?
And it was just because I wanted to keep my loved one safe?
From whom? you'd ask me. And truthfully I don't know.
Perhaps if I'd talked to you, especially when it all ended,
I'd have dealt with everything better, but I never realized,
I really never realized, that you saw through me,
and only when you told me I'm the type who'd anything for my loved one
I knew in my heart, that you probably have always known
So, I want to thank you for putting up with me those years
and sorry if I couldn't be a better friend..

Something I wrote a while back.. unfinished though...maybe one day I'll finish the list :)

My happy moments....

In primary school...

• none really, i don't remember much from primary school. Primary school for me was hell most of the times, where I used work so hard, i could have died, just to make sure, i am just as good as anyone else in class. It was where i learnt that in life you have to struggle, and there will constantly pushing you down, calling you names, destroying hopes and so on, and to face all that shit at that young of an age, makes me who I really am today

In high school...

• playing basketball, i just loved basketball, although i can't run much, but i am a good shooter. haha, i remember losing extremely badly in one of the matches, but ended feeling so good, because we tried our best.
• my english teacher in form 2, the way she motivated the class, made her into my top 5 best teacher list. She made me happy.
• having 3 other good friends (although we had a bad break-up, for reasons i can't even remember), i remember the happy moments, times when we did things together, when we went for tuition all the way at jln ipoh together, how one day it rained so heavily, that we got soaked and had to go back to my house to change, and skip tuition, and then made ourselves foods, and continued to gossip about who and what
• having the "yellow group", hahaha, with our yellow mind, we never cease to amaze each other.
• going to the monitor's house to make farewell gifts of candles, although i din help much in anyway, and our kind monitor made "mango & nestum" for us to try.
• doing all the dramas-orientation, farewelll, merdeka day and what not, dancing to mickey2, eating and eating and watching others eat/more like drink the curry my mum made