My dreams (yeah, the ones I have when I sleeping, not the ones during me being conscious), my dreams are becoming nightmares these days.
1) I keep bringing work back in my subconscious mind, so I keep dreaming about work, about things that I haven't done, things that might go awry (yes yes, they are always bad dreams, not one good one, such as getting a promotion/salary raise), sometimes I wake up after dreaming and make notes on things to do in work tomorrow because I'd forgotten about it today.
-- My take on this is probably because I am handling too many things at work, I don't multi-task very well. I prefer to do one thing at a time. I can't be a PA, secretary, office girl, "hey-girl", ordering stuff girl, making sure the things are not running out girl, photocopy girl, babysitter, MLT, research assistant at one time. So, in doing so many things at one go, I often forget small things, and sometimes have no time to do it. But, what the hell, that's my job right? I should do it without complaints. Probably why it has been manifesting in my head at night!
2) i keep having dreams of losing my loved ones, my friends. Mostly they are vivid and almost like real life. An example would be yesterday, I dream meeting up with a "long time no see" friend (A), everything was going well, we were talking, remembering the past, until I suddenly asked him about another friend (B) who I haven seen in a long time, and a lot of our mutual friends also don know what happened to B. Then, A told me that the from what he heard B was suffering from some sort of disease, infection from acinetobacter, and had only a few more weeks to live. Immediately I start crying my eyes out, I was so worried, because no one knew where he was, and I really wanted to see him, really wanted to help him out. I woke up with my heart beating so fast, that the first thing I did, was to pick up the phone, and start texting him (however, I did not msg him because I din know what to say, after so many years of no contact).
--I think this happens probably because subconsciously I miss my school friends very much, and yet I have no courage to meet (no, I din do anything wrong when I was in school to fear them, it's just that I don know what to expect, and also probably I have got the "zi bi zhen", when I stay away from people I once knew unless they are really2 my very good friends). Another reason is probably because I am so worried about my family's and friends' health.
3) natural Disaster are next. Often I dream about Tsunami, esp Tsunami and Great Floods. Once, I dream that I was at an island, and I met a very nice guy who took great interest in me, we were at the seaside tennis court and they were little children every where. Suddenly I see this tsunami coming, it was huge, we turned to run inland, everyone was running, it was one huge confusion, and we were in the court with huge fencing, we heard crying, there was a little all alone at the other end, the one near the sea, he took one look at me, smiled at me, let go of my hand and ran to the kid, all the while shouting to me to run for my life, I din wanna leave but I had another child with me, i couldn't be selfish, I had to protect the child, i ran and when I turned back, I saw him pick up the child and make for the inland, but they were too late, the wave came crashing down, I was pushed to the trees, grabbing hold of them with a child in my arm, to watch him and the other child disappear into nothingness, I cried and cried, but I never let go of the child. Woke up feeling very scared, very sad, wondering will this happen in real life.
--Well, for this I have no other reason besides worrying about the end of the world I guess
4)Moneyless. I dream the other I did not get NSF scholarship, I was so devastated, I was crying like a baby, crying to the kakak at the counter, saying that I cannot survive because I have too much responsibility, too many debts and loans to pay until the kakaks said jgn risau dik, ini bukan akhir dunia, masih blh pinjam loan. I woke up crying, my pillow was wet, I spent another 5 minutes crying and then took my bath and said to myself, so what??
--as the dream reflected, i am most likely worried about my financial situation.
Hahaha, those are some of my nightmares these days, looks like I haven't had a sweet dream for a long time. Hmmm.. wishing myself a goodnight and sweet dream.
