Once again, i can't find sleep. I am so SLEEPY, yet I can't sleep. My eyes seem very tired these days. People always ask me, am I not having enough sleep/ why am I so tired. Sleep is evading me, oh sleep, please come back,I need you desperately.
lullaby for myself,
Are you sleeping
Are you sleeping
Are you sleeping,
Morning bells are ringing
ding ding doong.. DOOONG

AAAHHH...going off now,don't care,force myself to sleep.. good night world ;(

He's just not mine

One of my poems from my english class during undergraduate class, just thought of sharing

It was just another day

I sat on a heap of hay

Wondering why the sky’s so gray

No more lovely, cheerful May

Then I took a walk down the bay

At the quay I saw him sway

Aye, I felt my heart led astray

Watching him from far away

As I closed in, I started to pray

Wishing he would stop and say

“Pretty gal over there, hey!!!”

But all I heard was donkey bray

Everyday I watched him like he was prey

I wanted him so badly, I’d pay

Patiently I waited; I feared I’ll turn clay

Under Mr. Sun’s frightful ray

One day, he took a turn and came my way

The drums in my heart began to play

I knew it wanted to do a relay

So, I stopped him and made him stay

I could feel him start to fray

All around, I saw birds named Jay

My heart painfully did they slay

With the news that he was gay

happiness

When I was younger, I had more ambition, more will, more imagination and lots of hope. Now, I look at myself in the mirror, what happened to my ambitions, my will power, my vivid imagination, where is hope? I look like a lost soul in search of something. These days all i ever ask and pray for is happiness. There is a lot of unhappiness in me,my family, friends and the world in general. I worry for many things,but mostly I am afraid that I can never give my family the happiness we need. My mum is worried about my dad and my dad is worried about financial situation. How do I make them happy?
what is happiness? Just because I am smiling,laughing and goofing around,does that mean I'm happy? Am I truly happy inside? Am I at bliss? questions after questions, where do I seek my happiness? How do I do it? Do I just need a change of attitude, a change of perspective?
Perhaps I should just not worry about things ahead, what comes will come, just learn to accept them. Perhaps I should just be at the present, forget the past, ignore the future, just look at now, appreciate every single thing i have now, my family, my friends, love, work, everything lil miracle that appears, yes perhaps that's what I am looking for, that's where my HAPPINESS lie at. God bless =)

很烦啊。

Can't you try to understand? Yes, maybe it's my fault, maybe I am not working hard enuf but I am trying my best. Why do you make me feel this way? Why? We are all in this together, just as long as we are together, all of us together, isn't that enough? Yes, money is tight. We cannot do the best in this situation, but we have a roof to live under, electric and water to use. We cannot eat the best of food but we still have food. Most importantly, we have each other, we are living together, we are going through this together, why would you want to make a situation already desperate even worse? Please try to understand, I know how important money is. I know we have to pay for this and that and medicine and chemo and bags and what not. I believe we will manage. We WILL manage, don't worry I will settle all our debts before I leave this world. Please just try to understand that I know how GRIM the situation is, but I am just trying to be THANKFUL for what we have and HAPPY that everyone is still living and together.

I pray and pray, sometimes I want to ignore my prayers but I know how much GRACE God has given us, how much He has helped us, how much more HE Will help us. It is just another passing stage, a stage where lessons and karma are to be paid back. We will pay back and not succumb into failure. We have to come out stronger ever than before.